...aite...ok, for the following presentation you are humbly asked to turn off your gay-dors, gay-o-meters or any devices that operate in a similar manner as the aforementioned.....you may keep yo cell phones on, no need to put them on silent or vibrate...we hope you can bare with us as this is vital to maintain the authors heterosexual status...your co-operation is highly appreciated.... :)
...so, the movies!!!! yes, i just came from there...supposed to be a fun recreational activity normally involving two individuals...conventionally its supposed to act as a bonding ritual but oddly enough it entails these two individuals sharing little about themselves as they mostly listen to other people talk and simulate reality in a bid to stir an emotional response and/or artistic appreciation.....sometimes a simple appreciation for the art of blowing sh#t up!!!! .....but sorry, i digress....
...the reason for all the gay - dor (which is gay + rador for those of you that didnt get it....yes, there are some of you out there!) antics was because of my experience tonight which i am going to relay to you hoping you will make your judgements only once you have fully disabled all of these devices and any prejudicial inhibitions...
...well the night started of with the traditional "democratic" process of electing a movie....this normally occurs with the male and female parties casting a choice or vote as to their viewing preferences normally accompanied with a controlled debate and usually followed by what seems to be a mutual decision being reached as to what the couple will see for the night....
...(i must digress here and just state that though this seems a fair process, in actual sense it is not as the female parties vote always has a power of 2 where as in any males vote only counts for 1, normally resulting in the male party watching that which is decided by the female....this type of voting system would mean that in a party of three consisting of two male and one female, where the males stick together and elect the same, yet opposing feature presentation as was elected by the female; they would still face defeat as they being "gentlemen" would be forced to succumb to the female choice....so the only way to ensure that the male party is victorious, would require a three male to one female ratio....having all men elect the same film or whatever you would call it, but in saying that.....this situation is so rare because in a group of three males, usually one of them is a kissy face pleaser and would side with the female populus so as to be seem to be in touch with his feminine side and be therefore regarded as sensitive! it is difficult to tell this individual apart from the male that is truelly sensitive but acts like a jerk due to the popular, and suggested as misguided, theory of girls prefering "jerks" or so to speak.... )
..anyway, where was i??....today, i and company decided to see the "black swan" flick [, well she picked it....so....] .....****before i proceed,could you please ensure that all devices are off....thank you***okay, i am not sure what classifcation this movie is under, be it horror/thriller or whatever, but i went into the cinema with the lowest of hopes! I picked myself up the biggest container of "the sweet sucky stuff" aka juice i could find, as it would be my only source of pleasurable entertainment during the next two hours of my life, along with snacks and all that and we made our way to the flick....i mean, seriously, its was a movie on ballet!!!!! not much chance for explosions, aliens or dance battles ( which i normally pay top cinema dollar for gladly!!!)....
...i will not give up any of the plot of the movie as i consider it to be art!!!! YES I SAID IT!!! the movie was......was.......amazing! like seriously, may have been due to my low expectation or whatever but i was so into it....it was odd and twisted and....entertaining....i actually recommend it!!! (what am i saying??)....it was beautiful!!!!!
...okay....okay, since my revelation is tipping a little too much on the ladyboy side of the playground i feel like i have to punch a dog or change a tire, or bite the neck off a bat just to restore the "man" in me!!!! as precaution i made sure there was a car mag' next to me as i type, a set of weights ready to go, a bottle of beer left over from xmas( i dont drink but you know what situation am in right now so its here just to paint a picture aite, if i had a gun i'd be out hunting ducks or even you right now!!!...).....i am trying my best to not excite any reading on the gaydors!!!!
....personally i blame the media!!! more specifically kanye west for being such an artist that he introduced ballet themes into hip hop with his whole bloody thirty minute video containing remnants of his "douche-bag..." single!!! damn you musical genius!!! damn you!!!
...but yo seriously, go see the flick...wait!!!! i actually hope u see the flick before you read this then it will make sense otherwise id probably be that weird guy that likes sum maniac in a too-too doing twirls on tip toe with an insatiable need to scratch!!!!!!
...damn, now i really need to punch that dog!!!!
****p.s. the author in no way supports animal cruelty............cough! cough!****
