****WARNING*** The following draft is void of grammatical regulation, structure or format and includes popular jargon or slang.... the author is NOT responsible for any idiots that DONT get it!!! :)
yo....!!!! whats hapning world!?? happy 2011!!! lets get it in...its been a minute but only cause i been putting in time in finding me so i can get you...you digg!!! Na, i aint never forget bout you...word to kratos! lol....[yall dont even know though]....but check...first blog act of this year is to give props to my family who have been there for me and have been amazing yall!!! to God who for a reason i am unworthy to even question has blessed me with all the mind, body and soul could long for...
Right quick for my own sake i will jot my most sought after resolutions for this year...
1. be a better brother/son/ombre a.k.a friend...generally be a better me
2. live up to my potential as my parents always ask me to do and actually give my all and not just settle for getting by coz i can do it with no effort digg!!!
3. Live!!!
like i swear there a million things and ama get to all of them i just wanted this audience to hold me accountable for the aforementioned declarations i have set as moral/academic/social/emotional reforms in the life of a one "iconnic"....
on the real....LOVE yall!!! yeah, the world over....
without getting too much into it yo...let me just jump into this twisted dream i had...
#### see what was freaky was that this dream stirred feelings i havent felt in but a minute!!! i was sleepin and i was scared as in SCARED dude!!! i was sweating, loosing breath and felt the deepest, darkest most sordid form of fear imaginable to any being capable of manipulating electronic signals via grey matter activity into logical thought patterns...
...and what got me this freaked out!!!?? an operation!!! [am ashamed to say]...like i was supposed to undergo surgery to "repair" a cranial anomaly or condition....and the prosepct of death by this somehow freaked the hell outta me!!! i know it sounds totally LAME now...but i was a zip away from wetting my pants!!! i cant hear words in my sleep [i think]...but could make out the doctor type dude tellin me death by this operation was virtually unheard of...[like not even google could bring up a case of it ever going wrong....]
...throughout this whole proceeding, not once had ma fear subsided or seemed to dissolve away..it was a constant presence that reminded me of my mortality and the moment came when the anesthetic was administered...
it seemed only a second, but my world faded, but i was aware of everything going on to the extent to which i saw everything going wrong and i ceased to exist in the physical realm.... NOW firstly; i have NEVER died in a dream or have heard of any one dying, well not with such brute realism and up until this point i had no idea i was dreaming!!! [which is odd coz i normally am aware enough to stir even nightmares to my preference....even sleep paralysis is easy for me to wake up from...well easy if you disregard the choking sensation!!!!]
the death was like, now am alive, whoops now am dead.....now...none of this, the horror and fear or any of that crap, had bothered me.....what did was that when i died, i saw a figure that i can only describe by awarding it angelic characteristics sweep down and struggled with all its divine strength to lift what i assume was my soul slowly northwards....this was contrasted by a depiction of a demonic creature [tiny but surprisingly strong] pulling me earth wards opposing the angel like apparition...
AND THEN I WOKE UP!!!! i wasn't sweating in "reality" (for the lack of better term), or could note any external entities that could have contributed to this mental circus....!!! and then i immediately realized what freaked me out the most about all of this was that, throughout this dream...my physical manifestation was full of fear and the only time i felt peace was in my passing....even as the forces sought refuge for my soul...i was at peace....i was calm...i was.............free!!!
lol...i know, i know...this happened yesterday...today am typing this at exactly 03:48 PM as i have been unable to sleep...[mostly i will attribute that to my excessive consumption of fast food]... i did tell a friend bout it and she was like its a dream and all....and i do feel that...was just something i had to put out...was mad ill!!! :D
am gone play some PS3 - god of war now!!! go get it....!!!
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